Thank you to everyone who was able to make it to the Opening!

I am so pleased with the results, all things considered (prep time, material limitations etc.).  It works so well in the cafe space, versus a gallery, because people go there especially to “общаться,” to socialize, and my exhibit is so much about this fluid exchange of traits, ideas, influences…Discourse!  (what we talked about most in the summer program FORUMAK Leto at Smolny College this summer)  The ideas of fluid identity, large and small influences (I now believe that every person, past and present, influences every other person in some way), and consciousness of oneself in the context of the whole are all so timely and help me begin to bring many parts of my life into focus.  This exhibit, I realize, is a result of many years of searching and could actually be the first conscious articulation of my artistic process and understanding of my existence.  I look forward to thinking about this more!

This consciousness of and engagement with self was ultimately what moved me to come to Russia in the first place.  Before I got on the plane to leave the States I felt a deep need to “find” myself, or at least understand what I’m doing, who I am, and find self respect and honesty.  I am realizing now that I can never “find” myself, that we live in an age of fluid discourse (ok, the phrase “living in an age of…” is so stale), that because of this my “identity,” “perception & presentation of self” is always changing and to understand my existence I must also simultaneously consider the existence of every other human being.  It is quite Zen. That, seen in this way, the seemingly simple desire to understand myself is the same desire as wanting to understand others.  This desire can be motivation throughout one’s entire life.

I don’t mean to say that I am merely a vessle for other people’s personalities, that I don’t have particular habits, attributes and opinions, but what I have become actively aware of is the fact that we are malleable; not necessarily passive, but unquestionably influenced by everything (in this sentence the words “shaped,” “created” etc. are not appropriate because that suggest some finalized outcome).  For example, even if I choose not to take on another person’s taste for milk in their coffee I am still influenced by their taste for milk in their coffee.  The fact that I made a choice about the matter, conscious or subconscious, means that that person has influenced me.  This can be extended to my reaction to a person I pass on the street as well as the influence of a close friend’s decision to get a tattoo.  Everything, anything, and all; single, plural, general and specific; they all influence my consciousness.

Those are my current thoughts on the matter.  Please share your reactions!!

To continue a bit more about my initial reactions to the exhibit:  I really felt like these people were alive in the active space of the cafe, that they stepped out into life and at the same moment were sitting, present behind the glass, in their own world and time.  My friends Katya and Julia kept saying “Они прямо живые!!” “They are really alive!”  The owner of the cafe apparently got a bit of the heeby-jeebies because they seemed so alive, both faceless in the portraits and in the masks.

You can see more photos of the exhibit here:  I . U Opening

If you are in Russia or have access to a Russian Language book store (though I don’t know if they export this magazine) look for an article about the exhibit in “Под Ключ” architecture, design and art magazine and an announcement in “Афиша.”

If you are in Petersburg stop by the Cafe!!  DUH!  You can buy postcards, pins, masks and drawings there too!